Each of the 4-to-7-member teams (there were 42 teams in all) were given a task in which they played the role of “change consultants” hired by companies to improve performance. It may be that there is a boundary crossed, or too nice for the level of the relationship. It’s okay to accept responsibility for your own choices and actions, both positive and negative, but nice people must be wary of not taking on emotional responsibilities that do not belong to them. You can’t constantly pour niceness and kindness into the cups of others without eventually depleting yourself. willing to forgive other people or be … People often look out for themselves, not their fellow man. Sorry. But can agreeableness go too far? noun. The easiest way to counter this is to pay attention, listen for inconsistencies, and question them. However, as difficult as it might seem to imagine, there are people whose niceness becomes just as much of a social stumbling block. However, the tendency to go along with the group, regardless of how they personally feel, can also lead these agreeable employees to become complacent and never question the status quo. That is not to suggest that you should stop being nice if you are, or that you shouldn’t be nice in the first place, just that you have to know when to close the door on a negative situation that may harm you. If I volunteered again I’d meet people far kinder, I’d probably make a friend or two. Find another word for nice. Because no one would argue with anyone else, the highly agreeable team could actually perform less successfully than a team with at least one dissenter. Life is chaotic and turbulent. The investigation of team performance took place over a 20-month period. Being too nice can actively damage your life, but an understanding of the challenges that go along with it can keep you from being harmed while you try to put something positive into the world. The reverse is far more likely to be your fate. It also comes across as desperate. A new theory aims to make sense of it all. This is most useful article for me.You can checkout most popular Song Lyrics 77. She works in the bakery with one of the nicest people I've ever met. “No.” is a complete sentence that nice people must learn. Resentment is a poisonous feeling that can slowly erode the foundation of friendships and trust. They aren’t being nice because they’re nice people, they’re pandering. Resentment will build and that relationship will break down. People who are too nice and compassionate can be exploited by others who do not care about their feelings, respect their time, or their responsibilities. Like a gesture between a clerk and a customer, or a boss and her assistant, or like if two people consider each other differently as friends. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Something about the lack of genuine motives behind being nice really bothers people. Demetrius says:. Do You Think Your Husband Has Become Less Agreeable? It does suggest that you don’t need to feel the pressure always to go along with what your partner wants, especially if there’s something at stake. In the workplace, being high on agreeableness could also present a double-edged sword. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them. Most bosses probably wish for a team of highly agreeable workers. research shows, can have “personalities.” Of course, the group’s personality is only as agreeable as that of its members. The world can be a callous place where unexpected niceness can pique the danger sense of someone who is not anticipating it… especially if they can’t identify what intentions you have. Friendships and relationships are a different thing altogether. After a while, sweetness gets old, and you want realness instead. willing to forget bad feelings towards someone who has offended or harmed you. I noticed this in my own life. In many cases, you’ll find that people who don’t care are people who once did but had their niceness and kindness taken advantage of. Askmen, can someone be too nice? Many people are selfish, self-centered creatures that are driven solely by their emotions and perspective of the world. “Too nice” is the person who is afraid to say no. I know some people who are too nice who work at a homeless shelter. Someone who is overly nice is undoubtedly a liar. The manipulator tends to leave out their role in all of these things, how they acted to others, whether they were showing up for and actually doing their job, if they offered any type of support or help to their friends. I find that having been way too nice, doing other neighbors yard work because it made my property look bad if I did not, it is now impossible to get them to change and help me now that I am older and damaged my spine and pelvis doing that work. “Everyone is against me and no one supports me!”. “Too nice” is the person who is afraid to set boundaries. Dreams have been described as dress rehearsals for real life, opportunities to gratify wishes, and a form of nocturnal therapy. People may also think there is something that is wrong with you, that you’re only being nice to take advantage of them or to mask an ulterior motive. And by tangible responsibilities, we are talking about the activities that go on in your life, being volunteered for activities without anyone consulting you because they assume you’ll agree to it, or accepting more than your fair share of work. People will go through a lot of positive and negative situations. Nice can be a hindrance in competitive environments like the workplace and business, particularly if you make the mistake of thinking that the person opposite you will treat you with the same amount of niceness or respect. Not every nice person in the world is nice because that’s who they are. If someone asks you for a favor, you may be likely to say yes, despite what plans you might have to change yourself. It’s not that the world is a terrible place or that there is no room for niceness. Being too nice is a quick way to be swamped with an unmanageable amount of tangible responsibilities. If Your Husband Doesn’t Help With Anything, Do This, Is My Boyfriend Gay? Do You Often Feel Disappointed in Your Relationship? What we mean when we say that someone is “too nice” is usually that the person in question is being disingenuous or that they don’t want to share their opinion. If you’re a highly agreeable relationship partner, you might also try hard to avoid conflict and confrontation. But what happens when they finally move their mind into a better place and decide not to reciprocate when the nice person needs some support? You Say "Sorry" On Repeat. noun. But this did not emerge from the findings. It’s a common manipulative ploy that tells you a lot about the person you’re interacting with. Egan, S. J., Vinciguerra, T., & Mazzucchelli, T. G. (2015). By all means, apologize when you’ve done wrong or regretful actions, but don’t apologize for things that are not your fault or responsibility. noun. These people see an opportunity to take advantage of you, because you have not established boundaries with them. It's also called doing the same thing over again expecting different results, it's very, very American, and cush. That can turn into a problem for a nice person if they start to shoulder problems and emotions that are not theirs to carry. Lizparker I’m the chick y’all love to hate Time Out. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. People who are looking for an edge will often hone in on nice people, because nice often coincides with soft, especially if you’re in an environment where nice does not coincide with normal conduct in that environment. You Need to Learn How to Stop Being Too Nice, and Why. Predators and users tend to shy away from people who don’t allow themselves to be manipulated. You can sympathize with another person’s story, but don’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. A naive person will feel bad for that person without scrutiny, not questioning their motives or inconsistencies. Can Being Agreeable Lead to Financial Problems? So if being “too nice” is a character flaw, then add it to my long list of flaws. These people should be kept at a safe distance if not removed from your life altogether. 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