Learning where these beliefs have come from is a great way to learn to let go of them. 9, It's impossible to remember to ask yourself these questions each time you face a decision, but it's still a useful exercise to revisit from time to time. And you’ll likely feel resentful and angry with them… even though you could have just said no. Saying no was off limits, and yes was the polite and likable thing to say. Saying no is an important skill to develop at any stage of your career because it retains the most important asset in life: your time. How to Say ‘Yes’ (by Not Saying ‘Yes’) From “yeah” to “yaaaaas” to “yiss,” we’re rejecting the clinical "yes" and finding more nuanced ways to give our approval—and to hedg Help? 2. A true yes — a yes that is in line with your values and best interest — you feel with your whole body. What if they yes you to death and then secretly hate you for it? 3. Relative Success is Hard Work. In an ideal world, we want to say yes to everyone, sure. Let me check my schedule first. It just means you default to saying no and only say yes when it really makes sense. What is true about health is also true about productivity: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition. 15 Simple Steps Towards Happiness and Success. There is no doubt. People who say yes to everything in an attempt to be liked are quickly recognized as pushovers. I like how the economist Tim Harford put it, “Every time we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to anything else we might accomplish with the time.” 4 Once you have committed to something, you have already decided how that future block of … If saying no gives you a twinge of excitement, … E.g. As writer Mike Dariano has pointed out, “It’s easier to avoid commitments than get out of commitments. Yes, yes, and yes! I was torn and wanted to do it all or say no to it all. #TheBestYes What I received from this book was way more than just help with decision making. If someone asks you to do something and your first reaction is “Hell Yeah!”, then do it. Constantly saying yes to everything and everyone drains us of time and energy. He writes, “One trick is to ask, “If I had to do this today, would I agree to it?” It’s not a bad rule of thumb, since any future commitment, no matter how far away it might be, will eventually become an imminent problem.” 8. Which of these other projects should I deprioritize to pay attention to this new project?” Hat tip to my friend, Shane Parrish, at Farnam Street who shared this insight from McKeown in the article, “Eight Ways to Say No With Grace and Style.”, Pedro Sorrentino, [Stoic Capital #21] On productivity, time and wealth, Jobs had another great quote about saying no: “I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. I remember this one time that I said yes to something and then later felt so bad about it that I ended up lying my way out of it. Saying no keeps you toward the easier end of this spectrum.” 10. But learning to say no can earn you respect from yourself as well those around you. It just means that you say yes in a focused way. 9. ”4 Once you have committed to something, you have already decided how that future block of time will be spent. Baby tell me Tell me, yes Don't tell me, no . And in many situations the best and healthiest decision is the one that leads to a refusal. We need to apply thought and prayer to our decisions and then trust God for the outcome. How often do you actually say yes? 8. Yes is a responsibility. tags: saying-no. Saying yes costs you time in the future. In an ideal world where we have unlimited time, we could easily say yes to everything. I will go there with you. I hope we can live into the words of Rilke: "The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. I realized I was afraid of saying no because my biggest fear is rejection. Looking back, I realize that it really isn’t worth it to say yes when you don’t want to. Saying no doesn't mean you'll never do anything interesting or innovative or spontaneous. I have a right to say no and shouldn’t be afraid of letting other people down at the cost of my own happiness. It’s fine now. Saying no is sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. Saying NO always has ramifications for a relationship so mull over why you've decided to say NO and whether it's appropriate. I’m blessed to be in a career of my dreams today. Manage your time. Dreading the idea of having to work that day, I called my boss back with the best excuse I could think of. Hat tip to Kevlin Henney. After committing to something, doubt eventually sets in and you may begin to think of ways you can get out of it. No one else in this world can offer what you can. So you shouldn’t underestimate the powerful steps you are taking when you do say no. “Why can't you just come to the meeting? We worry that if we say no, we will feel humiliated, guilty, or ashamed, and will end up being alone, rejected, or abandoned. Be direct, such as “no, I can’t” or “no, I don’t want to.”. “Where can I download my chat conversations?” – “For security reasons we do not store chat transcripts on our servers, we send them directly to … The same philosophy applies in other areas of life. At first, you just eliminate the obvious distractions and explore the rest. — James Clear (@JamesClear) January 24, 2018. It's worth asking if things are necessary. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. #TheBestYes . I have been a big brother fro most of my life, and it's the best thing I could ever be. Without you, I would be nothing.” ― T.J. Klune tags: everything, love, yes. You get my vote. But learning to say no can earn you respect from yourself as well those around you. It’s easy. If you have also decided that it’s worth it to you, and want to learn to say no, try these simple yet effective tips for doing so with confidence. If they never say no, how can you trust their yes? I told her that I had completely forgotten that it was my dad’s birthday that Saturday and that we had a family get-together (which was certainly not the case). Here’s a great tip: Stop saying yes when you want to say no. Your Best Yes is about learning to say yes to those things that are truly meant to be our assignment. For example, there is no meeting that goes faster than not having a meeting at all. Plain and simple. 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