“One of the gifts of growing up as an only child is learning how to keep oneself good company when alone,” says psychologist Carl Pickhardt, PhD, author of The Future of Your Only Child. It didn’t come into existence until the late 1800s. It could just be a natural part of their sweet little personality. The second camp, dating back 100 years or so, says that being an only child stunts social development. What is the origin of ‘only child syndrome’? Hall described only children as spoiled, selfish/self-absorbed, maladjusted, bossy, antisocial, and lonely. One 1987 review article, which summaries 140 studies, found some evidence of more “academic motivation” among only children, but no differences on personality traits like extroversion. Leonardo Da Vinci was an only child. PARK JISUNG . A more recent study of hers suggested that only children born before the OCP held less positive self-views than children with siblings held — putting a hole in the theory that only children think more highly of themselves. Having siblings, on the other hand, may necessitate learning how to share, and can offer a … Single-child families have become increasingly common. Adding salt to injury is the constant pressure and questions they face from their family and peers. The bestseller NurtureShock taught us that siblings’ interactions are so frequently hostile, they are no more skilled at socialization than only children. If you’re a worried parent of “just” one kid right now, you’ll find no shortage of articles asking if the “onelings” are all right. I am also an only child, the only grandchild on my mom's side and the baby of the family on my dad's side, as all of my cousins are 20+ years older than me, so I am not close with them. Loneliness strikes. In the end, neither the deprived younger sibling idea nor the awkward only child one hold much water. Going into the new millennium, around 17 percent of women aged 40 to 44 years in the United States had only ever had one child. #1 Sharing isn’t their thing. If you’re concerned about the possibility of your child developing some negative traits, know that you can steer them in the right direction. tests, get more schooling and have higher earnings later in life. "Studies show that only children are no different from other kids. If you don’t give your child a sibling, they’re destined to be socially isolated. © 2005-2020 Healthline Media a Red Ventures Company. So while psychologists don’t deny that only children may be at risk for some social deficits, these traits don’t occur across the board. So if you little one seems shy, there’s no need to assume a lack of siblings is the problem — or even that there’s a problem at all. Hall oversaw the study, and both men had ideas based on it published in the early 1900s. They would be this way regardless of whether they had siblings or not — and that’s OK. As a parent, it’s nice to know that, no matter what choice you make, you’re doing it wrong. The outline was due today. According to my Internet research (which you always have to take with a grain of salt), the average American family has gone from an average of 2.5 children in 1970 to 1.8 children today. "One of the negatives is not learning how to share if parents don't ensure that this … In one of her reviews of the literature, she found that the extra attention a child receives can be a positive. With digital classes, activities, and day camps that are all available remotely using Wi-Fi and a smart device, there are plenty of ways to keep your…. Related: 5 tips for raising siblings of very different ages. Sadly, not as much as we would like, since we are limited in what we can measure. It seems that whenever an only child shows any type of negative behavior, others are quick to attribute this to only child syndrome. test scores, school performance and educational level. Here’s the truth. It just so happens that being a trio is the right size for us. Only child syndrome signs. In fact, you might have used this term to describe someone at some point in your life. Specifically, they're not more spoiled, lonely, selfish, or overly dependent." In fact, so thoroughly discredited is the original work on the subject that there isn’t much recent — from the last 10 to 20 years — research on the subject. All rights reserved. Have you heard it said that only children can have trouble sharing, socializing with other children, and accepting compromise? Other studies have looked at children in China, where the one-child policy effectively created a generation of children with no siblings. “They are often better prepared to happily operate when physical distancing is imposed. Related: 9 parenting tips for raising an only child. The only child also knows that, once her or his parents are dead, a big part of life dies with them. The only child also knows that, once her or his parents are dead, a big part of life dies with them. They also score higher on personality measures of academic motivation than later born children. However, many only children prefer the company of adults from a young age because they astutely realize that other kids are fuckin’ crrrrrazy. So if you’re wondering whether your child needs a sibling to be a well-rounded person, here’s what to keep in mind. As we see it, more children means less time and money to focus on each one. She’s still quoted and interviewed extensively about it. Perhaps you’ve even heard that these children grow up lonely. There’s no doubt about it - parents of only children often get a bad rap. You won’t see an only child … Proponents of large or larger families claim your only child will be spoiled, lonely, or selfish or worse. The data has largely rejected that idea for decades. Many parents (mainly mothers) feel strongly about their ‘small’ family … Overall, when it comes to what economists call success, having siblings simply does not seem to matter. When they die, we will be on our own. Thank you for posting! I'm 32 years old and I'm an only child. Whether you are considering only having one child, or currently date an only child, there are some things you should know. One parent dead, the other old and in poor health. If anything, only children may have stronger bonds with their parents. Most people are familiar with the stereotypes of only children. An only child is a person with no siblings, biological nor adopted. I'm 32 years old and I'm an only child. Only children are no longer an anomaly; they’re alllll around us. These 11 things will bring you up to speed about only children. Here's why this is a good thing. Researchers in China have actually discovered differences in the brains of only children and those with siblings, the former being less agreeable than those who grew up with other kids in the family. Jaehyun is an only child, therefore his parents give him all their love and are very supportive of his activities. "I was the happiest only child in captivity." To start with, they didn’t want to have an only child family. If you’re an only child or if you decide to only have one child, you don’t have to worry about only child syndrome. Some parents think siblings make kids happier. I’m terrified of being incapacitated and unable to turn to loved ones for love, company and support. The family lived in a rich area of Gangnam, which tells us that Jaehyun had a well - off childhood. However, for some parents, having an only child is not a choice they make. If parents have two boys or two girls first, they are more likely to try for a third than if they have one of each. They feel constant guilt and tend to blame themselves. Only child syndrome signs. Planning your estate when you've got no children or heirs Published Wed, May 31 2017 7:50 AM EDT Updated Wed, May 31 2017 7:50 AM EDT Sarah O'Brien @sarahtgobrien Jisung has an older brother. Mar 18, 2019. But this reputation gives some people anxiety — and others, stereotyping permission — when it comes to having only one child. Every day, I spend about half the time thinking it’s so great they have each other (during the game “try to distract mom”) and half the time forcibly separating them (during the game “fight with sticks”). Others say singletons are better off. Falbo’s research in the 1990s looked at 1,000 school-aged children in China and found “very few only-child effects.”. Even focused on those things, it’s not enough to just compare families with more or less kids — families differ in a lot of ways. We rounded up the best blogs to help single mamas get the support and…, If COVID-19 has taught us anything, it’s that one of the most important life skills you can have is the ability to adapt and be flexible when needed…, If you've grown tired of the usual routine but aren't ready (or able) to hit the town, try one (or a few) of these at-home date night ideas. Indeed she is. My various cousins are not near me in age, outlook, lifestyle, etc. Studies have repeatedly shown that only children are no different from their peers — not particularly lonely, maladjusted, selfish, etc. Being the only child is a blessing because everyone I know have a lot of siblings and they always ask me you have sisters and brothers I'm like no an only child they will be like your lucky or I wish I was you. 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